Just Can’t Tell

So there’s a situation that I just can’t get a read on.

My best friend from undergrad is in vet school right now, 16 hours away from me.

I know that it was highly competitive to get in (there’s only 28 or so schools in the U.S.).

And I know that it’s a lot of material considering they have to learn about all different animal systems, not just one.

But she frequently makes comments that irks me the wrong way and I just don’t know how to take it.

Like sometimes she makes a comment about really cheap airfare to come visit her and it makes me mad because why would she assume that I have the time during medical school to fly out to another time zone to visit her?

But on the other hand, I know that she’s lonely out there so it could just be her being her and goofing around on the internet.

Then, she’ll send messeges about how much work she has and say ‘Not looking for pity but…’ and go on to say all this stuff she had to learn.

Or ‘Why didn’t you try to talk me out of this?’

We’re in the same boat, more or less.

Does she think that I have less work than her?

I just can’t shake the feeling that she’s somehow looking down on me or making passive aggressive statements about how much work she has.

Or is she just complaining in general and I’m taking it the wrong way?

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About spulunker

Casually pretending to have a clue.

2 responses to “Just Can’t Tell”

  1. barefootmedstudent says :

    Could there be a bit of subtle competition between the two of you?
    Perhaps there is a bit of a threatening inferiority complex on her side, because vet students don’t get as much attention as med students do.
    In South Africa, we only have one vet school and vet students will also sometimes make comments to impress how hard they’re working. Same with dentistry students.
    Do you guys ever skype? I find skype is a good way to have a two-sided discussion. I mean, then you could also tell her how hard you are working, and you could casually suggest sharing studying strategies. It’s different species, sure, but you’re both going to be learning anatomy, physiology, pharmacology…
    I think there is a chance that you’re feeling super-stressed and under-recognized, which is understandable.
    Good luck!

    • spulunker says :

      I feel like you’re right on so many levels! While I thought we were on the same page about the equally hard courseloads (we went through our application processes together, we definitely talked about it multiple times then) maybe I was wrong.

      We don’t skype as our free times never seem to really overlap but I do think that is a factor. It’s hard to determine whether subtext is there or not in a messege or text. Which is super frustrating when that’s the most efficient way I can have a conversation these days.
      And there’s definitely more than possibility that I’m overthinking all of this as well. When you’re tired and stressed the little things just seem to irk more or turn into something that they are not!
      Thanks for the perspective!

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